a trip through the mind of jackson!....

The Newquay chronicles Part 1

Told through the eyes of Craig Jackson....... Introduction: I had finished a hard days grafting at my work, got my cash and went home dreaming about how rad Newquay was going to be. I got home, started to pack, met up with Arran and Jon for a skate down the uni, realised that they were already completely finished packing and i had barely begun! i rushed home, finished packing, and caught and early nights sleep........ The team consisted of Arran,Ben,Jon,Alex and myself Craig. thursday. I woke up early on thursday, itched my balls and got out of bed, whacked on some rags and went for breakfast. What could be better than eating a bowl of shreddies, watching an episode of rad followed by a morning cigarette in the warm summer sunshine thinking about Newquay? well alot of things could be better, but it doesnt matter. Jon picked me up and soon enough we were at Heathrow airport ready to hop on the bus. Now i had it in mind that we were all going to be sitting together so we could chat amongst one another, but when we got on most of the seats were taken so we had to sit next to random people. I was pretty lucky because i got to sit next to a well fit bird which made things a whole lot better, Arran on the other side had to sit next to a weird old lady who blatently fancied him!!!                                    Soon enough we were on our mammoth journey to Newquay, 6 hours i think it was, and i dont want to have to do it again for ages!!! Head phones and cd players were revealed by all to pass the time quicker, my choice of tunes were, Stone roses, Taking back sunday,Oasis,New found glory, etc.... Time passed, and  passed again and again, and i thought that we would never get there, but it was'nt long until some funny shit had to happen!!! It was getting hot and we were getting sweaty, well i was any way. We got caught in a traffic jam when Arran said "Thats not what we wanted" I then proceeded by saying, "I wanted a bucket of ice" Arran then said "I want a cold shower" The weird old lady looked at him as if to say "Can...can...can i get in the cold shower with you"! Arran could see that she was looking at him and freaked out abit, "Not....not now" he said. This was unbelievably funny, i couldnt stop laughing for ages.You had to be there. Time passed, Arran said goodbye to his bit of rough as she shuffled off of the bus at some random town. Next stop Newquay. Finally we were there, we drove into the town in amazement, trying to look for skate spots (and girls). We got dropped off at the bus stop, and got a taxi to sunnyside, where we were gonna pitch 't' tents. This place was rad! full of young piss heads and stoners, i fitted right in ; ). We begun to pitch our tents when everyone realised that my tent was a play tent! this meant that it would be shit against the elements,cheers mum, i got loads of stick about it through out the holiday. Were pretty knakered that evening because of the long drive and setting up camp, so we decided to just chill at the camp, we bought some beers and i got abit pissed, Alex also revealed his sick union jack camping chair. It was just a low key evening, just chatting about funny stuff. We also relised that everyone around here was obsessed with Bo selecta (and who can blame em) all night we could drunk people shouting "When I say rise you say pea" and "Im doing time" followed by "Shamone motherfucker" the list goes on..... We decided to turn it in and we all got a well deserverd rest..

Part 2

Day 2 Friday. What the fuck, no way have i pissed myself in my sleep! oh thank god for that, it had rained over night and play tent was already leaking water, i woke up in a puddle of rain water slap bang in the middle of my tent.GAY. My arm and leg were completly soaked, Alex was the first one up, and i confided with him for abit whilst i scooped cups of water out of my tent with a mug. Soon enough everyone woke up and we decided to go and do what we came here to do and went skating. My bro had given me inside information about a skatepark not far from sunnyside, at the back of a swimming place. When we got there i was'nt really impressed, i was still half asleep and i had alot of booze in me. It was getting well hot at about midday and i had had enough, it wasn't really my kind of park, it was Bens kind of park though, i remember him nailing a solid nose slide over a funbox, it was a high ledge and i was extremely impressed, i'm sure that everyone else nailed some stuff too, but i can't remember anything else. We decided to say fairwell to the skatepark and hit da beach's which was rad, we even had our own rock that we chilled on. After an hour or so of chilling, we went in search of lunch and more skatespots, we hardly found any spots, its pretty rubbish. But we did find some cool curved marble benchs that were waxed to the max. By this time i was proper tired, i had a headache and i could'nt be fucked to skate, but Arran and Ben well able to nail a clean noseslide across one of the benchs, Alex was trying a backside board, but he gave up after a while.Far to hot. We discovered a sick skateshop called "Flavour" its was cool, it had loads of Heroin and landscape gear init. The owner was safe too!!! We decided to hit Fistral beach, which is the main source for surfers, and surf chicks etc, upon arrivel we relised that it was the Ripcurl boardmasters championship.RAD. There was a sick vert ramp with those of famous uk riders, just a few were: Nicky cornell (Killcity,Globe). Matthias Nylen (Clown,Duffs). And a one Matt pritchard walked passed us when we were watching the skating.RAD. This festival was on until sunday, so we were definatly gonna go on the saturday, how could we miss the Bikini beach babe contest????   I bought some Emerica tilts for £35 (Extremely stupid of me)  and we head back to the camp site, to get ready to go out into the town. When we got back my picture of Gary (what you talking bout willis) colman! was still taped up on my door from the nigh before,cool cool. We wrapped some zoots when the "you smoking the gange?" joke came into play. Basically Alex would always say "Craig.......you smoking the gange?" and i would always reply "yes du want some" until this day Alex still mentions that sentence somtimes when he texts me!!! we slapped on some nice clothes and headed for the town. Jon and Arran had fake ID's saying that they were  at sutton university, God only knows where they got them from! so lucky for them they were able to get into clubs and bars and stuff. While myself Alex and Ben had to wonder the streets wondering what we could do, well, there was nothing we could do so we decided to turn it in for the evening. Leaving Jon and Arran in the deep dark depths of the town by themsleves, god only know what they got up to. Apparantly it was all fun and games and they got into a club which had a foam party, cool.

Episode 3: attack of the reef girls

Day 3: Saturday. I woke up that morning in a boiling tent, i went outside and it was a lovely day, perfect to see the reef girl competion! ; ) so i got a full english, got some stuff together and hit Fistral beach so we could make a day of it. When we got there, the wind was picking up so the vert riders wern't able to get big airs on the ramp so they hand a best lip rick comp, which was rad, i got Arran to buy me a pint and we chilled and watched some skating. Little nicky was busting out nollie bigspins to disasters which were bare hesh!!! It got into the afternoon and it was getting hot, like melting hot. Jon was started to feel it and was getting tired, which is when the reef girl comp started, RAD. myself, Arran, and Jon stuck around to watch it, but a certain two didn't... they couldnt be bovered...cough(girlfriends)cough. What can i say? that couple of hours changed my life as well as being the best bit on our holiday! the girls were like unbelievably fit, GORGEOUS, no seriously you don't get them kind of girls in the englefield green area, i'll tell you that for free! Basically it was a load of hooligans in the crowd shouting funny things out like "Don't be shy, show us your chicken pie" and "Show us where you came from" and "Show us your meat flaps" in a football fashion! This is when  another legendary joke came into play. There was a weird looking ginger haired chap standing right at the front with a BIG camera, and he was dressed in completly green shorts and shirt. Arran said that the pictures he was taking was going to go on his website, www.leprichaun porn.com. This was intensly funny, (you had to be there) i took a picture of the leprichaun porn barron with Arran the barron. Arran has yet shown me the picture. We decided to say fairwell to ripcurl beach babes (they didn't want us to leave) and turned it in early, as we were all very tired and started to feel the pressure of having minor amounts of money, oh yes things were gonna get bad. We had plans of actually going for a day of skating on the sunday, so we turned it in for a good nights kip. It was going to be a dry night, or was it????

Day 4...........the day after tomorrow?

Day 4...... We woke that morning in the mood for a skate, i personally woke up in the mood shread some "insane terrain" as alex would put it. There seemed to be no rain and it was dry........wait......rain drops start falling. Out  of nowhere it started to absolutly piss it down.... proper day after tomorrow style.... you know when the big tidal wave hits new york, thats what it was like. My play tent wasnt holding up and started to let litres and litres of water in. All my stuff got soaked, whilst everyone else's was bone dry....no one tried to help me....cheers. Alex just laughed. Ben went on a mission to find out about a taxi and how far away Mt. hawke was, he sorted all out and we were sorted. Ben wrapped his feet up in plastic bags (good idea) and we all wrapped up our boards in plastic bags and made our way to reception to get picked up. Mate the weather was fucked, i think we were all dreaming about saturday, the sunshine, the pint of fosters arran bought me, and the reef girls. After ages of waiting, we were all on  a mini bus and made our way to Mt. Hawke. I hope the rest of the peeps who i went with can remember how SAFE the driver was, he could'nt stop swearing and it was jokes. When we got to Mt. hawke, i did'nt really know what to expect, and not being a park skater myself, i wasnt to sure if i was going to enjoy myself. In fact Mt. Hawke was possibally the best inside park ive ever been to, it had a chill out room with a TV and everything! We also saw Harry Bray, (sponsored by vans, and he was on the first series of rad) he was amazing of the mini ramp, doing some insane stuff. I couldnt stop worrying about the money problem that i was having, i was running low fast and i was gonna need to borrow some cash......shout to Arran and alex for setting me cash..... Anyway, we had a long day at the park from like 11 till 6 or suming like that. I also nearly knocked myself out there. Basically i was trying to 5-0 this grind box that was on top of a fun box. i landed it but came off and smacked my head so hard on the hard concrete ground, luckily we had to wear helmets, it hurt so much even with a helmet on god knows what it would of been like if i didnt have a helmet on.......shout to the people at Mt. Hawke for making everyone wear helmets, or i might of not have been here to write this!!!! : ) The cool taxi driver came and picked us up, which was amazing, coz we didnt even ask him to! and we got dropped off back at sunny side. That night we decided to turn it in early, i think Arran and Jon went out clubbing or some shit. The rest of us were far to tired to even attempt anything. I fell asleep that night very easy, i was happy too bacuse all my stuff dried off too!

The last day......... :(

Day 5, I woke up that day, praying that i wasn't gonna be soaked through to the bone,( i really didn't want it to rain during the night) Luckily it was just shit clouds, but we knew it would end up raining.....By this time, money was mega tight, like mega tight! everyone was rationing, well i was anyway! We decided to go into the town for a mooch, and a beach chilling sesion. The weather wasn't really beach weather, it was dark and cloudy, but we hit the waves anyway, they was high, like dangerously high! when they hit you, it like took you 5 metres backwards, my bloody swim shorts fell down too many times mate...... any way the day was pretty boring, doing nothing really, just chilling.....somehow the jokes kept coming about my shit tent. (Ben and Jon are the most sarcastic cunts on the face of the earth) The sun went down......and our last night began.......drunk....... We got a handsome ammount of drink, and startd early in the evening, by the time we got to the mini buses, we were all quite pissed up. (Minus Ben and Alex......girlfriends suck) We got on the mini bus followed by two slaggish looking girls.... We all got chatting, and one of the girls voice was the most manly voice ive ever heard, (THATS WHAT SMOKING DOES) she was like, "YEH I COME FROM NORTH LONDON MATE" We were like "We're from egham"!  Don't get me wrong mate, she wasn't half bad to be fair..... so we got off the bus, and Arran, Jon and their new found friends hit the night clubs, with their "Real" I.D's so i was left with the two sober ones, (gay) (joking) We walked around for abit, until, we found the beach, wait a minute, there was like a fat off beach party going down! I left Ben and Alex by themselves so they can talk about how much they miss their birds or whatever, by this time i was feeling exremely social, so i went and made some friends, it was so long ago now, i can't remember most of em. But there was some lads, who i wont ever forget, The fucking Birmingham boys! these kids were absolute legends mate, i got chatting to em, the alex and ben got chatting, then Jon and Arran got chatting when they came down! these kids were so funny there was like a little one who was 14 mate! thats so young, he was setting me up with loads more beers!!! they knew that little Vans gromit, Kris Vile. Some people got hold of a long rope and everyone had a massive skipping comp, I got in there mate, I got like 14, not bad but not good. The night was closing to an end. i saw a few fights too. We all went to the chippy, then decided to turn it in. What a night mate! Whats this mate? Arran got invited back to that birds caravan ay? Joker....... I went back to our new home, and passed out.   The morning came and we were all rushing around to get our shit together and we just made it to the coach, no time for breaky, or nothing! the journey home was shit, no mate really bad! until we had the break where i got a wimpy, sorted mate.   CONCLUSION overall the journey was a success we got some skating done, and loadsa drinking, cheers to arrans mum for sorting the trip out........thanks for reading the NEWQUAY CHRONICLES! THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT